Sweetwater
01-02-2009, 10:29 PM
Captains,
(Please disregard this post in its entirety as it is an attempt at humor. Humor after "the fact" of course... wasn't so funny at the time...)
So, my blushing bride allows me to buy a set of used Leather Dodge Caravan seats for my newly constructed flight deck floor.. See pic below.. $60 U.S.! Not a bad deal at all.. Electric... in good shape..perfect height... Mounted and powered...they actually work.. I am sitting pretty..( or so I thought)
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/176788/SS1.jpg
So.... I did the math.... did all of the eye points.... tested the height with the projector running.... Looking Good!!! I am excited now.... Built the flight deck floor (in -2 degree (F) weather) and dragged "it" inside... Emphasis on dragged... literally... It weighed twice what I thought it would... Wife skins knuckles... utters a foul statement about flight sims in general... Wants to know how old I am?? I married her for looks not patience.. (just kidding my love)
Sooo.... We tighten the nuts and bolts... pushed the deck to exactly where I thought it should go.... Beautiful I tell ya'.... Beautiful!!! Hook up the power supply... test the adjustments.... I am going up and down like a yo yo.... I verbally point this out... My wife shakes her head and says "you are a yo-yo alright."
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/176788/SS2.jpg
Oh yeah baby!! (said like Austin Powers) I am ready.... So I dismiss my bride to tend to her wounds... Knuckles heal slow but I insisted otherwise... She did not bleed ON the seats so I was OK.... Ready to "kick the tires and light the fires." Rainbird Flight 2324 is ready to rock!! Or was I....;)
You see in all my planning.... the raised flight deck... The PC position, The dual yokes.... the USB cords.... oh.... the USB cords.... the PC... Holy smokes.... The PC.....!!! I can't reach the darn o-n o-f-f switch... Try as I may I could not be seated and reach the dang switch... My wife steps in and asks how it is going... I tell her not to interrupt the captain while he is running a checklist... she says "OK, I know that... but when you usually do that I can hear the engines..." (at this point.. my only option...just smile and pretend you know what you are doing)
Under the cover of dinner time I make an assessment.... I have no wood left to make a PC pedestal... I cannot admit to my F.O. (wife) that I made a huge error in planning.... think man think!!!! aarrgghhh :eek:
So... and I share this with you carefully as I have yet to receive my confirmation of a patent... The "P737SS Engine start system" was invented. I understand Boeing "intelligence" may watch our forums but it is time this was shared with the world anyway.
Behold... the "P737SS Engine start system"
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/176788/SS3.jpg
Please watch carefully as I demonstrate its proper use....
Carefully...before taking the Pilots seat.. Adjust your wrist to a 10 degree angle in relation to its neutral position. Carefully grasp the "P737SS Engine start system" and apply a directional force towards the computers
"o-n o-f-f" switch.
Once the "business end" of the "P737SS Engine start system" is centrally located in the receptical.. depress with a dynamic force for of 12.7 ounces... as demonstrated below:
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/176788/SS4.jpg
At this time, the PC "ignition sequence" will begin and within 2 minutes the simulator will be ready to engage. Please note that this sequence is best done while the wife or other co-pilot is clear of view.
Gentlemen Captains... I am trusting you not to steal this idea and use it for your own personal gain... Boeing is desperate to get this device and it is only fair that I keep the wealth from this for myself...
That is all!
Jeff - KGEG
(Please disregard this post in its entirety as it is an attempt at humor. Humor after "the fact" of course... wasn't so funny at the time...)
So, my blushing bride allows me to buy a set of used Leather Dodge Caravan seats for my newly constructed flight deck floor.. See pic below.. $60 U.S.! Not a bad deal at all.. Electric... in good shape..perfect height... Mounted and powered...they actually work.. I am sitting pretty..( or so I thought)
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/176788/SS1.jpg
So.... I did the math.... did all of the eye points.... tested the height with the projector running.... Looking Good!!! I am excited now.... Built the flight deck floor (in -2 degree (F) weather) and dragged "it" inside... Emphasis on dragged... literally... It weighed twice what I thought it would... Wife skins knuckles... utters a foul statement about flight sims in general... Wants to know how old I am?? I married her for looks not patience.. (just kidding my love)
Sooo.... We tighten the nuts and bolts... pushed the deck to exactly where I thought it should go.... Beautiful I tell ya'.... Beautiful!!! Hook up the power supply... test the adjustments.... I am going up and down like a yo yo.... I verbally point this out... My wife shakes her head and says "you are a yo-yo alright."
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/176788/SS2.jpg
Oh yeah baby!! (said like Austin Powers) I am ready.... So I dismiss my bride to tend to her wounds... Knuckles heal slow but I insisted otherwise... She did not bleed ON the seats so I was OK.... Ready to "kick the tires and light the fires." Rainbird Flight 2324 is ready to rock!! Or was I....;)
You see in all my planning.... the raised flight deck... The PC position, The dual yokes.... the USB cords.... oh.... the USB cords.... the PC... Holy smokes.... The PC.....!!! I can't reach the darn o-n o-f-f switch... Try as I may I could not be seated and reach the dang switch... My wife steps in and asks how it is going... I tell her not to interrupt the captain while he is running a checklist... she says "OK, I know that... but when you usually do that I can hear the engines..." (at this point.. my only option...just smile and pretend you know what you are doing)
Under the cover of dinner time I make an assessment.... I have no wood left to make a PC pedestal... I cannot admit to my F.O. (wife) that I made a huge error in planning.... think man think!!!! aarrgghhh :eek:
So... and I share this with you carefully as I have yet to receive my confirmation of a patent... The "P737SS Engine start system" was invented. I understand Boeing "intelligence" may watch our forums but it is time this was shared with the world anyway.
Behold... the "P737SS Engine start system"
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/176788/SS3.jpg
Please watch carefully as I demonstrate its proper use....
Carefully...before taking the Pilots seat.. Adjust your wrist to a 10 degree angle in relation to its neutral position. Carefully grasp the "P737SS Engine start system" and apply a directional force towards the computers
"o-n o-f-f" switch.
Once the "business end" of the "P737SS Engine start system" is centrally located in the receptical.. depress with a dynamic force for of 12.7 ounces... as demonstrated below:
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/176788/SS4.jpg
At this time, the PC "ignition sequence" will begin and within 2 minutes the simulator will be ready to engage. Please note that this sequence is best done while the wife or other co-pilot is clear of view.
Gentlemen Captains... I am trusting you not to steal this idea and use it for your own personal gain... Boeing is desperate to get this device and it is only fair that I keep the wealth from this for myself...
That is all!
Jeff - KGEG